Sometimes you have to go with an oldie but a goodie

Anybody have a spare majic potion for hot lead?

LARPer busted - Watch more Funny Videos

A camera in every car

If you were not aware, airplanes are not the only travel machines that have a black box recorder on board. Just about every single car on the road with an airbag has one too. It keeps a rolling track of what is going on with the car and only stops when an airbag deploys. Too much big brother? Maybe.

I would prefer a little more in this case though. If every car had a video camera aimed out the front doing the same thing it would make my life easier as a claims adjuster. Naturally no accident is ever anybody's fault. Not to hear them tell the tale.

"I saw the car ahead of me stopped but I thought he was going to go so I didn't stop and hit him." Please, don't ever be that stupid. If the car ahead of you is stopped YOU STOP, end of discussion. BZZT! There are no ifs, ands, ors or buts.

Here is a perfect example of a reason why a camera would make a difference:

Running Red Light Causes 3-Car Crash - Watch more Funny Videos

Nobody ever comes out and says "I saw the red light and just didn't want to stop" so here is what was actually said "As I was approaching the light at 2-3 mph the light turned green and I proceeded into the intersection with all of the caution that is humanly possible. Do you think this will affect my rates?" So, the claims adjuster has to take this statement and apply it to what the other two victims state which pisses them off because they probably went to the hospital and now have to worry about going to the poor house from doctor's bills and then they are suddenly in a very standoffish mood.

If there was a camera in the car recording what is happening ahead of the car like this one you would know without even having to talk to your less than observant and morally ambiguous driver.

First Person Motorcycle Accident - Watch more Funny Videos

Now, aside from the people that were talking and saying "lay down" for 20 minutes and pissing me off did you see how the guy trying to do the u-turn blatantly lied about hitting another car? Nobody was near him, he is just an idiot and would not admit it. I hope that motorcycle rider got $1,000,000 from that dipshit dumbass.

If you can't tell this kind of thing gets me riled up. If I was the cyclist that got hit I would have, no matter how injured, tried to make him equally injured for his own stupidity's sake.

best girls

I don't want to start a debate here but I am curious to know which one of these songs you guys think is the best:

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We Remember

It's a big weekend here in the States. The day we remember our fallen heroes of battle. Some do this by having barbeques, some do it by going to cemeteries and putting flags and wreaths on grave sites.

I think we all know somebody that has served in the armed forces and whether they lost a life or not as a result I think we should all take a moment to remember.

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To my friends up North, I remember:

CANADA

The military history of Canada during the Second World War began with a declaration of war on Germany on September 10, 1939 and encompassed major campaigns in Italy^[1] and Northern Europe.^[2] Canada was active in defending the shipping lanes in the North Atlantic and the Canadian Merchant Navy completed over 25,000 voyages across the Atlantic.^[3] Canadians were also active in the Pacific throughout the war. One other thing that I think bears mentioning here. At the time of WW2 the Canadian population was about 10-11 Million and they only had about 5,000 people in their standing armed forces, by the end of the war they had 1.1 Million, that's right 10% of their population was in a service uniform.

To those at home, I remember:

USA

I don't think I need to mention much her other than thank you all.

To those across the Pacific, I remember:

AUSTRALIA

Australia entered World War II shortly after the invasion of Poland, declaring war on Germany on 3 September 1939. By the end of the war almost a million Australians had served in the Australian armed forces and Australian military units had fought in Europe, North Africa, and the South-West Pacific. In addition, Australia came under direct attack for the first time in its hry. 27,073 Australians were killed and 23,477 were wounded by enemy action during the war.

Taps Lyrics:
Day is done,
gone the sun,
from the lakes
from the hills
from the sky,
all is well,
safely, rest,
God is near.

Fading light,
Dims the sight,
And a star gems the sky
Gleaming bright,
From afar,
Drawing, near,
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise,
For our days,
Neath the sun
Neath the stars
Neath the sky,
As we go,
This, we, know,
God is near.

Poopiedoos!

A bunch of my friends and I were in Florida on vacation in June one year when one of my friends, whose name is being changed to protect his identity so we will call him Ben, starts spouting off a whole rambling of sentences about some subject which is now long forgotten. He litterally talked for about five minues without pause.

There is something you should know about Ben. He can't talk very well. Sounds a bit like Mush Mouth from Fat Alber and the Cosby Kids. You can't understand a word he says.

The really funny thing is, if you have a speaker he can talk through he sounds perfectly clear. Case in point, drive thru windows. If you are inside and hear him order he sounds normal. Another case in point, a bounch of us were going on a trip to Windsor for a bachelor party and we had two walkie talkies with us, one for each car. Nobody could understand each other on those things. Till Ben spoke, that came through crystal clear. Everybody in my car was like "Who was that?" and he answered "It's Ben" and that is when the light bulb went on over all of our heads.

Back to the original subject, namely poopiedoos. So Ben spouts off for a while and at long last he stops looking at us as if we should respond. Nobody understood what he said and so I was the first to reply "All I heard was 'Poopiedoos'". Now you know where the word came from.

During COD I have a bind that says that magical word. I use it instead of cussing because that is not nice. An example would be coming around a corner, getting popped in the head by Tom Steel with a MP44 and I hit the bind "POOPIEDOOS!"

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Stones or Beatles, that is the question

This one is easy if you know me at all, The Rolling Stones!

The Beatles had bigger hits, sure. They are all dead now except McCartney and I am betting he wishes he was after loosing half his chit to a one legged woman who dances with strangers on tv.

The Stones however are still selling out stadiums. I've seen them in concert twice. Once in Cleveland at the old Municipal Stadium which is no longer there in 1989 and again in Ohio Stadium here in Columbus. Both were great shows even though my car died on the way home from Cleveland with a hole in a piston. It was overheating on the way up so we ingeniously had one guy pee on the engine. Not so lucky on the way home. Add a couple of 250 pounders (100 kilos) and you have a dead car at the end of the night. Here were some of my favorites:

I'M NOT A HATER!

You might ask yourself what do I like if I hate that stuff. Good Question! My radio presets in my car are:

classic rock

hard rock

alterntive

sports radio

pop

classical/npr

Most of my favorite songs right now come from the alterative station and include:

This last video really raises a good question, would you rather be in The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? My answer is tomorrow.

Are we too digital?

Now that you have this wonderful piece of literary pose to peruse at your leisure I had to think to myself: Are we too digital?

Twitter, facebook, myspace, digg, blogs, etc. etc. etc.

Do we really need all of this constant contact? The world became an incredibly smaller place with the introduction of the telegraph and then again when Mr. Morse came up with his wonderful code. Do I relly need to know that Tom Steel took a dump at 9:04, then exactly an hour later at 10:04 and finally at 10:56 in addition to how each one had a different smell and what the difference was? This is just an example and is not based on facts which does not mean I am not laughing my ash off right now.

I first thought this when people would send a text to somebody else IN THE SAME ROOM instead of simply opening their mouth and saying it. 10,000 years of verbal communication and we are now reverting to hand signals?

Don't get me wrong, there are good things about this constant digital diversion, take this news story as an example:

BOOM!

Yesterday I put up a video of an Ammonium Perchlorate explosion that happened in Nevada umpteen years ago. Right after college I worked for a company that used AP as an ingredient in making a whole bunch of different perchlorate salts and perchloric acids.

Pretty cool pictures of the blast wave coming across the desert floor to the hikers that took the video. Kind of gives you a sense of the scale of things when you can watch the blast wave roll across the desert floor towards you at the speed of sound or 768 mph.

Sometimes it's the little things that really amuse me. Like this:

And, is that Zarizz' voice in the movie?

lyrically inept

I must be in the minority for the first time of my life (being a white male this is a real shocker to me).

I must be in the minority because if I were not there is no way in which the following things would happen, the public would have spoken and the free market which I believe in so strongly would have spoken and ridiculed the presenters of inanity and it would go away.

Bad Lyrics. I don't drive as much as Billy in a day but I do have a decent amount of windshield time and as such have plenty of opportunity to listen to the radio. In the last month or two I have paid close attention to the lyrics of songs and find them to be woefully stupid.

There is no way that "I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning" and "Beats so big I'm steppin' on leprechauns" deserve a place in the world. Of course, these are by Lady GaGa and Black Eyed Peas respectively.

Where are the days when you had an insight full our profound chorus like "Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey, Brass Monkey - junkie, That funky Monkey". Heck, even the new Britney Spears song has better lyrics. It might even qualify as rhetoric if this was an election year.

Could you see a YouTube video of Barack Obama pictures over Britney's video for Circus? Now that would be some funny chit right there. (I apologize to you God and please bless all of the midgets in New Guinea).

Now, this is long but it will have a story or two in my next blog:

How big is it?

Okay, so I think we have all seen this video before:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkCNJRfSZBU

But if it is a $1,000 dollar question on Jeopardy and nobody answers is it because they don't know? Or do they just not want to be known for knowing? you know?

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/5/WoW-on-Jeopardy-294185.html

And always remember, at least he has chicken